The saga continues into it's third day......
"Third day and she's gotten her second wind. I shouldn't have asked her how she was feeling. I think it's funny that she's trying to start a fight, trying to make some sort of warped point, It's too late, I've already shut her out. [child] even said to me, "I wish grandma would knock off her attitude!" I told him not to say that, it's not nice, but I just don't want her starting in on him next. I'm no longer allowed to get on the computer, (no biggie, I can check my mail & surf at school,) and I'm not allowed to watch TV either, (whatever, most of what I watch is on NBC.) So fuck you, you are not hurting me. She calls me immature while she does this childish shit!? I am so over her games. She's gonna be the one who looks like an idiot when I let it roll off my back and Dad finally loses his temper. He's not going to walk around on egg shells for too long. I'm sure she's cooking up new ways to piss me off and hurt me so she can start a fight before Dad gets home so she can play injured mother. Wonder if another "heart attack" is on the way? If I get passionate about my view points, I'm overreacting or being too negative....if only she could look in the fucking mirror!!! She overreacts to EVERYTHING! I wish I had a lot of money so I could get the hell away from her.
I knew she would start a fight before Dad got home! Fucking Aunt G got on the phone to me, took everything I said and twisted it around to HER. Last time I tell her anything. So I'm there, trying to apologize and of course, I'm getting screamed at, called stupid, irresponsible, lazy, selfish, biker chick, worse than [a girl she deemed white trash], jobless....all of the regulars she says to me, except she left [NPD Grandmother] and [General Fuckup Uncle] out of it this time. Then she starts swinging, smacked me in the side of the head! Did she think I was just going to stand there and take it? I grabbed her hands and threw them away from me. She kicked me out again saying she'd call the police if I took my own child. I told her to go right ahead. She said pack my shit and get out. I looked her dead in the eyes and said, "I'm done." Poor Dad had to hear it from her when he got in the house, he was pulling in the driveway as I was packing. [Child] was crying because he thought grandma was going to take him from me and then she wonders why no one respects her or wants to be around her. She's fucking crazy! It's so unfair how she terrorizes our lives. I'm so tired of being blamed for everything that's wrong in her life. I've never been able to do anything right in her mind. No more, the nano second I get a chance to get out safely, I'm gone! She thinks we couldn't possibly get along without her, if only she knew how wrong she is. Things would be so much more peaceful. [Child] and I have gotten along SO much better since she's in her room. I would be sad if she died, but at least we'd all be free. I just wish she'd leave me alone. Time for bed now. Dad told her to drop it and move on. We'll see what I get yelled at for tomorrow."
So, I was punished. LOL, that was always one of her favorites, take stuff away from me. Now mind you, the computer I was banned from was one that I had bought. Everything in me was screaming for my Dad to help me, but it wasn't until he got annoyed with it that he told her to stop. Immediately after I grabbed her hands so she couldn't hit me again, she got this evil look in her eyes, gritted her teeth and said, "You tried to hit me. You did hit me. You hit me!" I did not try to hit her, but she proceeded to tell my Father that I did. When he asked me if I had, it killed me. I said, "If I had, I wouldn't have stopped Dad. I was preventing her from hitting me again." But the fact that he even believed it for a second.
Yes, I was jobless, thanks for reminding me that I can't find one in this piece of shit town...she was jobless too! I should have called the cops, to this day, I regret not calling them. But the inner monologue she had instilled had me convinced that it was somehow my fault. I was selfish for buying something for myself, which I still rarely do, instead of buying her something. I don't know if that was what sparked her, she had been going on and on about a particular gem stone that she didn't own a piece of. Maybe I was right about her ordered bed rest almost being over with....she does like to milk each illness for all it's worth. If that doesn't work, she'll injure herself. After I had moved out, she broke her ankle going out to the car at 2 in the morning for a carton of cigarettes and she slipped on the stairs. My immediate thought? She did it on purpose, but only meant to twist her ankle. See, they were having family down from another state and she didn't feel like cleaning the house, so she tried a different body part to the, "too injured to help much," scheme. She didn't bargain on her bones being so brittle from years of smoking and letting your sugar run low so you could binge on candy. I came and I helped, but I didn't stay, she was not pleased but couldn't say anything. I almost pitied my Father that day as I looked at the piles of ashes and butts everywhere, a garbage bag stationed right next to her stake of the couch full of candy wrappers, soda cans and empty cigarette packs, but then I remembered every time I had to apologize for nothing. I remembered every tire mark from that bus I was constantly tossed under. He let this monster grow and she was his problem now. I got in my car and drove home to my family.
No comments:
Post a Comment